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Filthy, Free

by Gary

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micky baker
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micky baker "I can barely contain, the way that I feel today is just a day but this year is gonna kill" Favorite track: 801.
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1.
we stood or knelt in concert halls on rooftops under lighting storms in the dead grass of graveyards we swore with tears in our eyes to never go back and never give in our greatest defeats just prove that we are still alive and kicking we hitchhiked across continents lived in houses left for dead fell in love with the darkness and a starlit sky we dropped out and walked away from financial stability invested our futures in empty wallets dumpsters and petty theft shed ourselves of empty promises i’m going to live at ruthless and as dangerous as i please until... the day that i fucking die! when we fight we’re fighting for our lives x3 and you can bet that thats a threat i’m not going to stop until every last law is broken and fucking cop is dead we broke siege on campuses fought the pigs in futile riots nursed each other back to health just to fight again emptied on to city streets from shows that changed our lives then stayed up til sunrise chasing our dreams and our desires we robbed banks and burned the cash accomplished failures just for a laugh found strength in stories told from half a world away and in silent moments as we laid our heroes to rest i swear vengence as i throw down my pen because we’re rewriting ourselves with bombs and beating hearts passed through prison bars and over continents tales lived and never told and that’s the way its going to be until... the day that i fucking die! when we fight were fighting for our lives x3 and as the fires start to build we’ll whisper to ourselves in a secret harmony of laughter and tears that one day this will all come crashing down we’ll be dancing in the ashes of this empire growing gardens in abandon yards when theres nothing left to loot and we’ll be playing in the these streets lined with derelict cars to serve as a reminder of everything we’ve left behind with no regrets, no regrets at all.
2.
we’ve been talking about survival but what about fighting back fuck passivity where’s the passion i don’t know about you but i think i’ll rest when i’m dead and until then if we can shed our fears to dance and apply that to our lives imagine what the stars will think when we come out tonight my greatest fear is growing old and comfortable with no scars and no broken bones the gravest threat against us are the holes we for ourselves in the sands of uncertainty i want to be cold and hungry sometimes to bleed if that what it takes because these eyes will be dust one day so get up off the floor because tonight you’re going to die this is your last chance to dance in the life you’ll leave behind and when we wake up reborn into this fucked up world fearless, wild, and free we’ll chase the civilized from the maps that they write and the borders that could never contain a free soul dead or alive well i walked these city streets wandering i was looking for answers in this godless world and i found them as i walked beneath my feet i saw a little dandelion a pushin up through the concrete if a weed that small can crumble these city streets into dust just imagine what a room full of kids like us could do if we could shake this fear that binds us and start risking everything ahead and behind us and cast our lots to the chaos of a life worth living you see my generation is dying to forget that we are gods and we can do anything so get up off the floor cause tonight you’re going to die this is your last chance to dance in the life you’ll leave behind and when we wake up reborn into this fucked up world fearless, wild, and free we’ll erase the civilized from lies that they call history every one of those books will burn in the presence of the stories we write with our lives
3.
dear, you’re dying but aren’t we all? we could make the best of this self destruction, hedonism, a dash of whats left of my angry youth the drugs in your head these calloused hands fumbling with a match under defaulted loans, rotten teeth, food stamp cards and our punk retirement plans mapped on bell curving trends mix it all together - it’s a recipe for disaster i’m a fool i guess for thinking it would be anything less than what it is a way to die alone i am a sorry excuse for a man but i never aimed to be and sometimes it’s enough to be just as beautiful, just as beautiful as fucked up when we’re playing it’s with fire at crowded basement shows riots on midnight streets our secrets shared between these fragile bones tangled within sheets we are forever criminals waste deep in disease dirty dishes, theft citations, addictions, and drinking problems high school dropouts, work force rejects mix it all together - it’s a recipe for disaster we’re all fools i guess for thinking it would be anything less than what it is a way to kill ourselves what a sorry excuse for success but failure holds a certain charm and i dont think i am alone in that regard or alone in any way at all these walls were built to crumble but for now they hold together if for just a while so we let our years tangle into knots of passion like punk rock fashion broken hearted vengence and half-baked reciept scams i stole a bike to pay the rent that’s anarchist morality hard at work bold lines are draw to cross carelessly this may not be the quick path to hell but it’s a recipe for disaster for every broken law and every burning bridge i’ve crossed along the road to salvation i’ve thought that this cannot end well time will betray the greatest memories so lets punch kick and scream and never understand a goddamn thing
4.
Let Go 01:58
nothing means anything and everything is dying or already dead like this thought inside my head that says universal truth is a dirty lie from here we redefine our friendships and the summer could last forever if we want it to losing sleep to our best laid plans with hands held in a white knuckle grip who need friends with accomplices like this let go i will catch you when you fall absence of purpose in these fleeting seconds floating and by the way things we make and lay to waste can be defeating, inspiring, or a blank canvas to write on or burn in creative fire just trust your every desire as long as you are alive browbeaten or still standing strong with hands held in fists to the sky who need cliques with crime waves like this let go i will catch you when you fall
5.
Filthy, Free 01:37
I'm filthy and free coming apart at these hand-stitched seams the ones that you've sewn me so half-cocked I go as crazy as I can til I understand why you cut yourself because we're made to feel dead or just numb from here to the grave crowded by lonesome and heartbroken chests that have no known love just perversions of it lust and codependents I should probably calm down just a little bit slower now write a song or two about love and not burning buildings but maybe it's all the same so do what you can to find the light in the darkest of places leave plenty of traces to share what we've learned through gifts not exchange and every mistake the ones i'm always making i hope you endure through every disservice and manic mood swing or depressive rambling not unlike this song but i'd like to thank you for all that you've done that you're still my friend
6.
in holy song to bleat the hymns out loud prostrate the soul under indifferent clouds seeking saviors in "corrected" history who needs truth when you can just believe psalms, revelations, and the teachings of christ clever distractions to draw the eyes from the possiblities in sought desire if this body is a temple it's one that's on fire its a just law that keeps us all in prisons castrates the self at the expense of reason power to the judges and clandestine clans who needs justice when they're all shaking hands the headlines decry lies and treason against the agents of collective liberation but my friends know the rotten score that the old guard feasts on defeated hearts a first world rests on the backs of those disposed or forgotten on the factory floor human and non animals alike bound to the whip or the appetite i was not put on this earth to subjegate anyone or to serve no gods no masters no fucking slaves are you part of the solution or just digging graves Am i a fool for wanting a life beyond the moorings of capital and purity? lay morals to rest in a watery grave and set sail for horizons guided by the heavens full of stars storms and dreams, not a god among them
7.
I am a myth and you are ancient folk lore yet unwritten, untold those tasks we leave to those content with demonizing and deifying these understatements of affection and possibility as we push past and future so distant they may well be non-existent and the days become infinite we’re always headed home by way of somewhere else fueled by the drugs and daydreams that run around in our blood on the interstate or a railway stowaway on passenger or freight train shoplifting my way across the great plains on a bicycle that may outlive me yet i surrender myself to the chaos behind structured time where clocks unwind themselves it’s so much like all the things i will never know and all the places that i will never and all the wasted time whittled away in railyards on roadsides where perfection comes without charge not that i was planning on paying anyway (chorus) one thousand miles spanning fifty years where land and souls meet shores the path i take not so direct for small towns and side roads landscapes from boxcars the silence pierced by a draw of breathe yours or mine we wander between lines to wonder at our size giants like grains of sand (chorus) love and life are a pair of train tracks but i can’t explain beyond that
8.
801 04:00
i know it's not the coldest but this winter has frozen all my aspirations I'm all hesitation and i can barely get up sometime before noon to go to the library just to keep my fingers warm but i wouldn't trade you here for anywhere and you i hope that someday you will find a place that makes you feel the same i'd like to think i know this as well as anyone can know something bigger than themselves the way i'm searching for somewhere to stand but this is where i am a perfect place to defend i found a home between the wasatch range and the great salt lake this is where i belong and so the seasons change our bodies start to move they whisper insurrections crush in all directions write new languages and hypothesis questionable methods and dangerous intentions i have a thing for love and vandalism retail theft and anarchism an you smell like sex and spraypaint photocopies, bikes, and dumpster dives and now the summers come - can you feel it in your blood? we're sharing our infections fuck every prescription symptoms on our shirt sleeves wearing faults like trophies to the soundtrack of slow days, touring bands, and trainyard dates I i'm not growing up not to imply that i even know how you can read it in our eyes the way we'll never leave all this behind
9.
sitting still alone in this bedroom for what seems like years dont move a muscle, try not to breathe, not to feel anything muted heartstrings, blinded peripheries i build an island to hide from ought tos, what its, and capabilities i'm a recluse in the crowd cowardice just can't speak honestly in a shell called a body, a mind on the brink, everyone speaks vapidly i respire profanity, i bleed disappearing ink ashamed of what's not made left to wither and fade so many problems to sing away so i surrender yet again craft a nest of cassia bark and twigs on sunlit flames throw it all away a pile of ashes and broken bits this is my life a path less paved for better or whatever never to far from always just out of reach

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A mix of recordings from different places. Quality is questionable and inconsistent.

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released April 6, 2014

JT recorded and mastered the first 4 tracks. Everything else was recorded and not mastered on a broken Fostex MR-8.

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Gary Salt Lake City, Utah

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